Categories: Commentary, Humor

So I went to see The Island this evening. See, I had free passes because I gots the hook-up. Okay, I stole them. Anyway, this movie kicks a whole lot of ass. Which is good, because that gives me hope for the live action Transformers movie that Michael Bay is set to direct. I'm not going to detail to you my whole day and then spoil the whole movie for you as I did with my War of the Worlds review, which, by the way, is my favorite post I've ever, uh, posted. Go read it if you haven't. It's great. Really. Which is why I'm not going to do the same here. How could I ever top that? So I'm keeping it simple. Go see this movie. As soon as you can. There doesn't seem to be a lot of hype about the movie. I'd only vaguely heard of the movie before snatching the passes out of the hands of a fat kid. That means the movie needs your help in order to do well.

Oh, did I mention Scarlett Johansson is hot? She's not Jessica Alba hot; she's a different kind of hot. If Jessica Alba and Scarlett Johansson were pieces of bread, I would like to be the lunch meat in the middle. What kind of meat, you ask? Maybe salami. Or bologna. No, wait. Definitely salami. I want to be the salami that slides between Jessica Alba and Scarlett Johansson. I'd cover them in my mayonnaise. Yes I would. Yeah, I know. I'm a sick bastard.

Go see The Island. It stars Scarlett Johansson and Ewan "Obi-Wan" McGregor. But not Jessica Alba. Which is a shame.