Categories: Political, Rants

Let's say you're going to go to your county fair. Let's say you know that the seating (which is a large wall of giant concrete steps) in the county fair fills up pretty quickly so you get there early in order to get a good seat. Let's say you've brought your own chairs because it's much more comfortable to sit in your chairs than on a slab of hot concrete. Let's say there is no rule stating you cannot bring your own chairs and you're not the only ones who were intelligent enough to do so. Let's say you've found a decent spot and you've set up your chairs. Let's say you're in a group of five people. Let's say two of you get up to go get something and three of you stay behind. Everything's good so far, right?

Now let's say the seating area is full. Every spot is taken. Now imagine, if you will, a pair of rude bitches, who may or may not be lesbians (and not the good looking kind), walk in front of you. You politely allow them in front of you, because you think they're just going to pass. But let's say these two sit down in front of the empty chairs that your friends will be returning to any minute now. And by sit down in front of, I mean their backs are resting against the chairs. When your friends return, they will be unable to sit down. So you politely tell the bull dykes that your friends will be returning soon and could they please move. Of course you know what the answer was, because I would not be writing this otherwise.

They then tell us that we should not be taking up two rows and they are, in fact, going to sit there. I tell them our chairs are only taking up one row, because they are chairs and can, by their very nature, only take up one row, otherwise they would fall, because the legs all need to be level. My friend tells them they should have gotten there earlier if they wanted a good seat. They say they've been there since three. We got there at six, so they had three full hours on us to get a good seat. It looks like they didn't use their time wisely. I look behind me and see some empty space. I inform them they can sit there. They say they can't because our chairs are in front of it and they can't dangle their legs. Boo hoo.

So I drop the subject for a minute. I'll just wait for my friends to return. Then we can rumble. I start talking to my friend about how if certain other people were here, there would be a fight and possibly a stabbing. I'm sure the bitches can hear me. Suddenly they stand up. They've spotted another place to sit. "You lucked out. A couple spots just opened up," one of the bitches informs us.

We lucked out? You lucked out, bitch. We were minutes away from beating your stupid ass. As the bitches walked away, I noticed the shirt one of them was wearing. I'm not making this up. Guess what the shirt said. "Democrat". I turned to my friend and said, "Well, that explains everything."